Wearing Life On My Sleeve

Working Socially

2011-02-10T13:45:00.001-08:00

After fifteen months of being out of work I finally found a part-time job that will allow me to continue my online schooling through the University of Phoenix, and my volunteer work with CASA. I am now the Food Bank Coordinator for the Martha O'Bryan Center in East Nashville. With this position I can ease my passion out of teaching and direct it towards a new career in social work. As an employee with the Martha O'Bryan center I am already learning the skills to see beyond the behavior and symptoms of a customers current situation and respond to a family in need. My current responsibilities are to provide families in need with emergency food. With the help and assistance of the Second Harvest Food Bank, the Martha O'Bryan Center is the largest food bank serving Nashville. As our relationship continues with Second Harvest to provide food to our families, I will also have the opportunity to develop relationships with local markets, food vendors, restaurants, and farmers markets as we seek to provide fresh foods along with our non-perishable items.

As I meet and talk with families that have just suffered hardship due to the loss of a job,the flood or have been raised in extreme poverty I am also learning that there is never enough. Enough food, enough compassion, and enough respect. My goal and desire as I serve these families and hopefully get to know them a bit better is to treat them with the dignity that all humans deserve.

Hope

2010-10-21T06:59:00.000-07:00

The questions is how do we restore hope to so many Children out there who are hurting? It was supposed to get better, right? Why are our children still suffering from the hate we adults have learned? Forget that most of the children who have just ended their lives recently may have been different in some sort of way. Forget that the children who bullied them were taught by their families that they are somehow better than anyone else. Lets remind ourselves that our children are vulnerable human beings learning to deal with new emotions, challenges, and desires. We as a nation are suppose to be providing hope for our children. We as a nation are supposed to be providing a better, safer life for our children. We as individuals are responsible for the lives we bring into this world.

I am not surprised that our children are learning hate. How can you miss it? Our adults spread it everyday. Turn on the TV, our political leaders are acting like bullies right in front of our eyes. Whatever happened to respect for the office of the President. Adults are attacking our president, our leaders and our neighbors everyday with hate and it is disgusting. I don't want to use my vote to encourage leaders who display such adolescent behavior to our children. We can't fix the problem of bullying until we deal directly with the bullies themselves, our parents, our political leaders, our religious leaders. Children aren't born to hate they are taught to hate.

As adults we need to stop pretending we are doing what is best for our children. Freedom of speech should share new ideas and challenge others ideas in a mature, responsible way, not invoke hate. Nothing is accomplished when we attack others beliefs and ideas, all we do is show our children that bullying is acceptable and it is not! As adults, we can handle cruel words, as children they end their lives over cruel words.

As adults, lets do something better. Be a better example, be a better parent, be a better religious leader, be a better human being. By ending hate, we end bullying and we save our children.

Water

2010-10-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

Blog Action Day 2010

Why are we so concerned about water? We have enough, right? When I turn on my faucet it is there? When I do my laundry, my washer fills up. When I take a shower, water flows down. So what is the big deal about water?

Functions of Water in the Human Body

The functions given below will help you understand the role of water in our body:

Water is essential for digesting food. It is also important for getting rid of various toxic elements from the body, in the form of urine, sweat and fecal matter.
Water helps to cushion our joints and prevents shocks in them.
Water present in blood is the carrier of oxygen and nutrients to all our body cells.
Water present in lymph (a fluid that is part of our immune system) helps the body to fight against various diseases.
Water helps to regulate and maintain our body temperature.
Water prevents dehydration and thus, helps to maintain proper metabolism in our body.

Many foods that we eat contain water to some extent and various fluids also add to the water intake of our body. Milk, fruits and vegetables are also rich sources of water.

Effects of Water Deficiency

Low blood pressure
Clotting of blood
Kidney malfunction
Severe constipation

So imagine, you just woke up, you have no clean water to wash your body, brush your teeth, or drink. You have no water to regulate your bodies temperature or to clean out your toxins. You have barely enough food that provides water to get you through the week. Now, imagine you are 5 years old. How long can your body survive? How long can the human soul survive?

THIS is not just happening in third world countries. THIS is happening here, in the United States, in your cities. Water, do we have enough?

Change.org|Start Petition

Hunger

2010-09-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

I have been searching my memory for a day that I ever went hungry. With both joy and sadness I can say I have never been without food for even a day. Some of you may share a different story. Some of you may say you've gone a day, two days, one week or more without something to eat.

I know there are thousands of children and adults that miss a meal each day just in Tennessee. What happened? Why in the United States of America are there people who cannot afford to feed themselves or feed their children? Our store shelves are full, our restaurants throw food out at the end of the day and I myself, have not finished my meal.

It is not only the homeless that are looking for food. It is the family that has someone who lost a job and can't pay the bills. It is the family that gave birth to a special needs child. It is anyone who has had to decide whether to put gas in the tank, medicine in our bodies or food on the table.

It is National Hunger Awareness month. Yes, another organization is having a run or food drive or auction. Awareness; the state of ability to perceive, to feel, or to be conscious of events. All I believe anyone can ask is that we all stay AWARE!

Some ideas;

Carry a bag of apples in your car to pass out to homeless people.
Buy the two for one at the grocery stores and save the other item for a food collection.
Carry water bottles in your car to pass out to homeless people (especially in the Summer).
Volunteer at Second Harvest Food Bank sorting food, or volunteer at Hands On Nashville to serve in a soup kitchen.

September is Hunger Action Month , and Second Harvest Food Bank has teamed up with CoolPeopleCare to produce a compelling organic T-shirt. When you buy it, you’ll be providing meals for 44 people. A single T-shirt never did so much.

schools supplies

2010-08-10T14:25:00.001-07:00

I have never taken for granted how fortunate I am in my life. I have always had the support and guidence from family members and great friends. Becuase of this support I have always condisered my life to be full, whole. One of the most enriching moments of my life as a teachers has been the parents I have met, the memories we've created and the friendships we have built. From this day I can reach back over years and remember those specific parents who have inspired me or touched me in some way that they may never even realize or know. I have a lousy memory, but I can remember kids I taught and families that I shared from one year to four years of my life. Parents that have allowed me to share in their child's life even when they have reached the age of 8, 9 or 10.

I bring all of this up, because I just recently reached out to those parents and friends, again. I asked them to reach into their hearts and pockets and help provide some school supplies for kids in foster care. I was confident that one way I could serve these families and children, was to call on my friends to help. The author, Gay Courter from her book "I Speak for this Child" ended her book with the simple ways she could help her children as a CASA. She described these simple things as making a doctor appointment, getting the children in special classes, listening and encouraging. She wrote;

"These Children are neither failures nor successes, they are

evolving human beings."

I can tell you from the smilies on the children's faces and the grateful look in the parents eyes, they were truly thankful for your kindness. I am forever thankful for your inspirations.

I wanted to share something fun and inspiring you can do with your family. The Great Kindness Challenge is happening August 14th. This is one day devoted to performing acts of kindness with millions of children around the world. This event is sponsored by; Kids for Peace that hopes to teach kids to spread love through action!

Curves

2010-07-29T14:28:00.000-07:00

I hope you don't mind, but I thought I would use my blog to share what has been going on with me over the summer and since I last blogged.

Many of you know that I became a CASA Volunteer (Court Appointed Special Advocate) for children in the foster care system. My first case has ended and I believe the outcome was positive for everyone involved. I have just been given a new case this past week. While reviewing the files of the children I have been entrusted with, my only desire is to help guide them towards finding and keeping HOPE.

I have had the fortunate ability to find time to read and have read two astounding books about being in the foster system and being a CASA. The first book was called; Three Little Words written by Ashley Rhodes. It is her memoir about growing up in the foster care system and the next book; I Speak for this Child, Gay Courter, is by the woman who adopted Ashley. This book is Gay's view of the foster care system through her eyes as a foster mom and the volunteer work she did as a CASA.

I also became a volunteer on the FCRB (Foster Care Review Board). Each group meets once a month to review specific files for the Judge. The FCRB is in place to assure that the needs of the children are being met in their foster home and to assist the foster families with any problems or concerns they may have. I have only been to two meetings so far and have already met some very strong people wanting to help these children.

I have also been spending some time researching the possibility of going back to school and have finally made the commitment. I have become quite confident in the idea that I want to continue to help children and others through a non-profit here in Nashville. This work would require my having a Bachelor's degree in Social Work. I have officially started my workshop online and my first two classes begin Monday August 2nd through Phoenix University.

I do have some part-time work with the wonderful organization Cool People Care, Inc. I was able to help them with organizing and shipping items for the We Are Nashville campaign. I really believe that the owners; Sam Davidson and Stephen Mosley have helped Nancy and I through a crucial, soul searching time in our lives. I am grateful that I can still be of service to them and appreciate the part-time job.

Besides trying to keep my garden alive through this heat spell and playing with my puppy, this has been a time of wonderful curves in the road. I have been very fortunate with the support of my partner and my family who continue each day to walk with me.

Identity

2010-06-17T11:37:00.000-07:00

Where did parts of your identity come from? Your partner, your children, your parents, work, school, friends, church? I have been doing a lot of soul searching and spending a great deal of time on the question of "my" identity.

Identity; individuality, uniqueness, self, personality.

essential self; the set of characteristics that somebody recognizes as belonging to herself/himself and constituting her/his individual personality for life.

It seems my identity has always been focused around my gay "lifestyle". Should I come-out? Will I be accepted if I come-out? This plus many issues that stem from my family have come to make up some of my characteristics and form my identity. When I met my partner, I will confess that my identity became all wrapped up in her. As our relationship grows so do our separate identities. To this day I am more my essential self with her than anyone else.

When I started working with kids I started to realize the strongest part of my identity came from children. I have worked and learned about children over the past 20 years of my life. But in the "professional" world of teaching my identity seems to be wrapped up in the degree. Without my degree, my identity to love and teach children has been challenged with my peers.

My older, been-around-the-block identity is looking for some fresh life. I still want part of my identity to come from children. I would love for my identity to come from total strangers that are searching for their identity as well. Those that are seeking a better life, a new life and new journey. Those strangers that need someone to worry less about their own identity and more about helping them find hope.

Where will parts of a new identity come from next? I have no idea. I do know that I have a strong support system, a strong family and a strong desire to have an identity.

2010-05-31T11:13:00.000-07:00

Out of this latest disaster that hit our city I have been given the opportunity to work with the organization, Cool People Care, Inc. as they help the flood victims of Nashville. In case your not familiar with this organization, you should be. The founders of this organization, Sam Davidson and Stephen Moseley have been angels sent from heaven for our family as well as thousands of other families. They have helped you in ways you will never know, but trust me, they are making our world a safer and better place for everyone to live. Your children are in good hands.

Sam and Stephen teamed up with Patten Fuqua who wrote what all of us soon came to understand,"We Are Nashville". Through their desire and I'm sure they felt it was their responsibility as well, started a campaign to help the victims through the Community Foundation of Middle Tennessee's Flood Relief Fund. For every one's generous support they would share this phrase as a reminder to all that We Are Nashville. T-shirts and bumper stickers were ordered by the thousands, all across the United States. My opportunity came when Sam asked if I could assist in the shipping of these items and be available to help serve those who selflessly donated to our city. I knew it was an honor to be asked and I gladly accepted.

If you ever read my blog, you will know that I am extremely confused with situations where human nature is involved. Here in the confusion of a catastrophe that was left on all of our doorsteps, I saw it bring out so much of the good in so many. But like always the pettiness and shallowness of others come through the soil like an unwanted weed in my garden.

If you have ever donated to a cause, you understand that it comes with no perks, no promises, no gifts and no strings. You realize that your money, your time, your prayers serve those in need, those lost in the disaster, those who have nothing but hope left to cling to. You don't give for the gratitude, the t-shirt, the discount or the recognition. I was not personally effected by the flood and am proud to have seen those volunteers who worked and pushed themselves beyond the need of a kind word or tangible reward. Somewhere along the way they learned what being a volunteer does for your spirit and inner soul.

Thank you to such a strong city built on the backs of endless volunteers!

Shelby Bottoms

2010-04-26T11:48:00.000-07:00

Three frustrations with Shelby Bottoms

Let me first express that Shelby Bottoms is one of my favorite places to walk with my dog. When we first adopted Scouty, we knew that we would have to get professional training for all of us to feel comfortable and know that Scout would follow commands when we walked. We had a trainer come to our house and help us teach Scout her commands, how to heel and how to walk on a leash. Any professional trainer will tell you When your dog is in the heeling position it means that she is virtually pinned to your left leg (not touching it) and must stay there until released by the owner. After heeling it is natural to train the dog to walk on a leash. Because your dog is now in the heeling position on your left side, the dog should walk on your left side.

Okay, frustration number 1: Rules for Shelby Bottoms.

Two way Traffic

Speed Limit 1-5

Stay to the Right (no more than two across)

Signal When Passing (say "on your left")

Dogs on 6 ft. Leash

These rules have made my well trained dog a bit confused. Walking her has been frustrating because she is trying to do what she was trained to do and that is walk on our left. I then have to drag her to the right over and over and everyone is exhausted. I will admit, most parks have this rule and I appreciate that they are accommodating dogs, however they should understand how dogs are trained. Since I have learned that dogs should correctly walk on their owners left this leaves the dog that is professionally trained not following their training or their master.

Frustration number 2: Bikers Attitude's. Lately it seems the bikers have the attitude that they own Shelby Bottoms. The rules state that bikers are supposed to make the comment; "Biker on your left" so you can be prepared when they speed by you. I don't know how many times I, my partner or my dog have almost been run over by a biker who would not slow down when passing or let us know that they were passing. Shelby park has been very busy lately with so many more people and the bikers need to let us know they're coming and slow down.

Frustration number 3: One way street mix-up. There is "supposedly" a one way street that runs along the pond as you enter the park from Shelby Ave. I was stopped one day by a park ranger that explained I was going the wrong way. He said there was a sign posted. Now if you frequent the park, check out the sign. We suggested to the ranger that he check out the sign because it is not facing the correct way. To this day it is still facing the wrong way and I still see people go down it the "wrong way". It is a simple fix but it has been that way for years.

I want to keep my Friends of Shelby Park bumper sticker on my car and continue to enjoy Shelby Bottoms. But these few frustrations are not allowing me to make the best of this park. I believe it is becoming very dangerous with more people, children, strollers, dogs, bikes, roller blades and Hula-Hooper's using it. Scout has been willing to bend on walking on the right when she was not trained that way. Simple courtesy from everyone and Shelby Bottoms can be safe for everyone.

Customer Service

2010-04-17T11:53:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of stories when it comes to me and customer service, and most of them are not in my favor . Just recently we found out we needed to get our cedar fence that is around our back yard sprayed for termites. Knowing we only have termites on the fence and not in the house we wanted help saving our fence and would worry about prevention on the house after we both found a job. When I made my first call to get an appointment for an estimate I specifically let them know that we were looking for someone to help us with our FENCE. I even went into how both of us had been unemployed for over six months and that we needed to invest our money into saving our fence and that we would work with the company on a later to date for our house. I set up an appointment with All American Pest Control and Orkin Termite Control who was coming over that week.

When Orkin arrived he was on time and very friendly. We went over and looked at the wood that had been eaten on the fence and then he advised me that he needed about 30 minutes to check the house and then we would discuss what he found. 75 minutes later I knocked on his truck window and asked if he was ready? I again mentioned how we were just interested in saving the fence right now (are you catching a theme yet?) and would worry about the house later when we became employed. He started with the good news that we did not have termites in the house. Then he went on to share how they were going to drill all around the house into the cement and what they were going to use to treat them. He finished and asked if I had any questions? I said, "yes, what about the fence?" "Oh, we don't do fences" was his reply.

(This is what was going on inside my head, #$*#**@# AHHHHHHHHHH!!!) On the outside, I explained my frustration and as calmly as I could asked him to leave my house. This is when he asked if he could share "just one more thing?" Then he went into telling me the cost for servicing the house. (again, in my head,#@*#%, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!) and I escorted him to the door.

So, just to be sure I called All American Pest Control back and explained that we had set up an appointment to look at my fence. I also explained the Orkin situation and asked her if they are able to help me with my fence or not. When she finished talking to the service person she explained that he would gladly do the fence when we did the house. Even after giving my sob story of how we were unemployed and were just trying to save our fence she said they would not do the fence without the house.

Okay, now what was I going to do. I tried one more company, Precision Termite & Pest Control that didn't even have an entire web site, but did have their phone number listed. I called and explained my situation and the owner himself came out that day to look at the fence. They agreed to help and even did above and beyond what they said they would originally cover in the price and came out the very next day. Our fence has been saved!

In a time when people are pinching pennies more than ever before, I really believe that quality customer service is how a company is going to survive. I will be contacting Precision Termite when I can afford my house being treated because they reached out to help someone when times are tough. Does customer service matter to you? Share how.

Together 1

2010-04-04T09:00:00.000-07:00

Anniversary

2010-04-04T08:30:00.000-07:00

The story goes that Nancy and I met at an all woman's Bible study back in 1988. I was 26, Nancy was just 24. We made a commitment from our hearts and it has brought us to this day of celebration. And we are not afraid to admit that our relationship is strongly built on faith. Faith in one another, faith in a stronger power, faith in ourselves.

We have a lot to celebrate! We both came into our own while we were together. I would like to share with you what Nancy and I have accomplished together, as a couple and as individuals over these past 22 years.

I'm sitting in my living room that is filled with such color and sunshine as I write this. This color is not just from the walls, but from the art and treasures that fill this space. These are not items that can easily be replaced. These pieces of art carry stories and memories that have filled our 22 years together. To us they are strong memories of great and wonderful, gifted and talented, joyful and inspiring people in our lives and places we have shared.

Nancy and I have owned two homes together. We have traveled, we eat wonderful food, work in our garden, see movies, go shopping, soak in our hut tub and play with our dog. But as much as we have done together that is tangible, there is so much more to our relationship that we have shared that is life changing. We have stood at each others bed side when in the hospital (yes, carrying the documents to show that we care about each other). We've discussed raising children, refinancing our home, paying bills and medical issues. We have supported one another when we had to leave a job, choose another job or just be unemployed (together). We have watched nieces and nephews grow, family members and friends have kids, holiday's with the "in- laws", wedding anniversaries and the loss of grandparents.

What I believe has been the cornerstone of our relationship that has built so much trust, faith, strength and peace over these years, was "coming out" to ourselves, to one another and to our family. Our honesty to each other and those we love I believe have formed, shaped and molded our relationship beyond what we ever believed it could be.

Happy Anniversary, my love.

Together 2

2010-04-04T08:00:00.003-07:00

Happy Birthday, Scout

2010-03-25T13:59:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to my puppy Scout who is 10 years old!

She was only 3 pounds when she came into our lives (that is a cat collar on her because she is so small). We adopted her from Love at first Sight after my cat of 19 years passed away. Nancy and I never owned a dog growing up and this was all new, scary and exciting to us. We heard all the horror stories of how she would chew up everything, eat us out of house and home and pee and poop all over. I am a proud parent and can with confidence admit she has never done any of these things.

Scout is part Chow, Boarder Collie, Beagle, Whippet and Healer all mixed together. This I believe has made her the smartest most wonderful dog in the world. She has brought nothing but joy, peace, patience and love in my life. I totally understand why they tell single people or older people to get a dog. She keeps me going and I believe she has kept me both physically and mentally healthy these past ten years. Each day all I can think about is getting her out for a walk and making her smile. When I am away from her I think of her constantly. We try to take her as many places with us as we can. She has gone to Gatlinburg, New Mexico, short trips, long trips, the mall, Lowes and most of all the park. Yes, we have arranged our lives for her but it is all worth it.

Scout has also given me a new appreciation for other pets and animals, especially dogs. And I know people don't like it when you treat an animal as human, but I would do ANYTHING for her. We went through the 2:00 am potty outings, the training, the vet visits and we sit up with her when she doesn't feel well. She is my child and I try to do what ever I can to keep her safe, healthy and happy for as long as she will be with us. This should be true of every animal. Just like there are people who give of their time to help children, the homeless, the hungry and the sick, there are those that have given up much to take care of our animals, our pets. How can you help? Check out strong, positive shelters and the people who have changed their lives so that the lives of abused animals can be changed; A Place to Bark.

I love you Scouty.

Happy Birthday!!!!!

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."

- Unknown

Do you own a pet? Have they changed your life for the better? I would love to hear about them.

Spring

2010-03-12T08:00:00.000-08:00

As the owner of a garden that is at least 60' in length and is full of perennials I can hardly contain myself when the weather starts to warm up. This obsession began back in 1996 at our first home. We have kept a gardening journals since the day we began and this is what we wrote on our first day;

"Marked off area beside house for garden.

Made plans to create bricked tiles for walk way and place to put bench next year."

Not too exciting, but this is where it all began. We have had a garden every years since and we still have the same bench. Our garden is our sanctuary, our place for respite and I am already craving to get on my knees, clean it up and get it ready for the first flowers of spring. I am also excited about moving the herbs I have been growing inside all winter, outside so they can wake up as well.

We did something very spring-like this past weekend. We took some money that I made on a part-time gig and spent it on our garden. It has been so long since we spent money that we wanted to be sure to spend it on something that we love to nurture and that of course is our garden. We bought one truck load of earth mix, purchased at Bates Nursery, and brought it home and spread it out on the garden. Then I went to Southern Nurseries and bought a truck load of pine bark mulch and spread that on the garden. And so it begins, the trips to Bates Nursery on the weekends, the watering, the weeding and the creating.

I will tell you a bit of what I am most excited about. I am a 48 year old woman and I spent hours in our garden throwing shovel after shovel full of dirt and mulch and I felt great! Like all of us, I have been trapped inside during this cold spell, trying to get out as much as possible to walk the dog when a warm day comes along. My body is more excited this year about spring than it ever has been. Not only does the warm weather mean gardening and getting outside, it means my mental and physical health will begin to thaw and the fresh air can start to creep in and wake up and fill my senses.

What wakes up your senses? Your children? Your partner? Your art? Reading? Cleaning? Whatever it is, remember you have five senses so make sure you please all of them. With our garden I am able to feel the earth, smell the fresh (and sometimes stinky) mulch and dirt. I can hear and see nature all around me as I work and I get to see the results of my creativity. But most importantly I can taste that which I have grown myself.

Happy Spring!

Volunteer

2010-03-03T12:09:00.000-08:00

There is a new journey ahead for me. I have just completed my training as a CASA volunteer. A CASA volunteer is a court appointed advocate for children in the foster care system.

We are guilty of many errors and many faults,

but our worst crime is abandoning the children,

neglecting the fountain of life.

Many of the things we need can wait.

The child cannot.

Right now is the time

bones are being formed, blood is being made,

senses are being developed.

To the child we cannot answer "Tomorrow."

The child's name is "Today."

(Gabriela Mistral, poet from Chile)

If you know me, you know I have a desire to teach, mentor, support, strengthen and love children. I have been teaching in early childhood education for over 20 years and now this organization has come into my life at an extremely instrumental time. As I re-examine my career goals, CASA has allowed me the opportunity to delve into and experience a whole new way to serve children. I have not actually started a case yet (I just graduated this week) but I am so encouraged and inspired by just the idea that the skills I have developed in my training can possibly make a difference in a child's life.

This leads me to my next possible journey. I will at this time admit to those reading that I have never obtained a college degree. I attended college in the early 80's and withdrew before I graduated. I have been very fortunate that due to my ability to relate with children, extensive outside training classes and strong work ethic I have been able to build a positive and lengthy background in teaching. When I became unemployed I finally got off my bottom and started to volunteer at some particular agencies in town. Never would I have guessed that just these simple hours of my time would lead me seeking to return to school. Yes, at the age of 48, I would be seeking to earn my Bachelor's in Social Work.

In four months time my mind and life have been in a whirlwind. I have applied and interview for jobs, volunteered at local agencies, completed classes for CASA and have spoken to several colleges in reference to returning to school. I never thought my heart would go through this much change and all for the better. I want to do my part to save the world. I have always been told it is possible and I am beginning to believe.

I saw a story on the CBS Evening News; Starved Kids thrive 6 years after abuse. At first, this story saddened and angered me about the foster care system. But as the story unfolds I was given great hope about those foster parents out there that are giving of themselves to do the best for all our children who have been abused or neglected.

"We can't always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future"

(Franklin Delano Roosevelt)

Renew

2010-02-19T10:00:00.000-08:00

Renew; Give somebody or something new energy. Strength or enthusiasm.

Replace something used up. To get a new supply of something.

Why do I want so much to reject the idea that I may be going through some type of spiritual renewal? Friends have shared with me in the past when they have felt a spiritual or zen experience or a new tranquility and peace in their lives and I have supported and envied their new found hope. So here I am and I feel funny saying that I have been rejuvenated spiritually. Lately I have been expanding my co-creative bond with a higher power greater than myself.

"The natural world teaches us the power of change. As seasons shift, I see the purpose and beauty of life's cyclicality. I see the promise of spring, the ripening of summer, the bounty of harvest and the mysterious containment of winter. All seasons work for the good. So it is, too, with the changing cycles of my life. As I surrender to the wisdom of a higher plan, I discover in all circumstances the opportunity for growth and expansion. There is no season in my life that is without worth. There is no season in my life that does not unfold my highest good. Challenged by difficult times, I consciously choose to affirm the goodness of life's timing." (Julie Cameron, Prayers to the Great Creator)

I have always felt that in my career as a teacher I have been making a difference in the lives of kids. I have had the good fortune of sharing knowledge and strengthening minds. I have always felt confident about my career choice and happy as a teacher. But I also became complacent and at times, selfish. I thought about helping others, but did not put my desires into action. Since I have stopped teaching, been unemployed and started to finally volunteer, my heart and soul have been burning.

I want to serve! I don't think I can walk through the rest of my life if I am not helping to make those who have lost faith, fallen on hard times, abused or neglected find their way a bit easier. Call this spiritual renewal, call it growing up, call it whatever you want, I just know that I am being called. I am eternally grateful to the men at a non-profit organization called; Cool People Care. The letter below was written to them and I understand how this person can feel so empowered after volunteering.

"I owe a lot to you guys actually. A few years ago I helped man one of your Earth Day booths

in Nashville because a friend of mine interned with you - and needed some help. After that, I looked through your website and found a non-profit organization that I fell in love with. I contacted them, became their intern in D.C, traveled to India, and have not started a non-profit organization of my own. Who knew that volunteering with you guys for one day would help launch the rest of my life haha:) So yeah, thanks.

(This is what I do now; www.sports4hope.org)"

Jessie Ensminger

So I started a new career as a CASA Volunteer (Court Appointed Special Advocate) for children in the foster care system. I have been attending classes and will graduate in March. The time and classes have already been more rewarding than I can put into words. I encourage everyone to find a place you can be creative while helping others. Check out places to volunteer to see what may fit your needs as well as those you want to serve.

Pain

2010-02-08T05:00:00.000-08:00

Anger crying Darkness death depression Despair Emptiness fear

feeling Hate heartbreak loneliness misery regret sadness Sorrow Tears

I was reminded this week that we all have certain physical pain issues in our lives that can be unbearable at times. What is so frustrating about these pains is that they go unnoticed by almost everyone around us. For example, I suffer from severe migraines and I mean severe. Years ago I was having migraines 15 to 20 days out of the month. Now they only come about 5 to 7 days a month, thank goodness. But when I get one I am dealing with something no one else can help me with, no one else can understand and no one else may even know I having one. These migraines make me loose precious time and moments and I feel like I'm living in a bubble watching the world go by. Never mind the emotional roller coaster I go through while having one.

"If I bled every time I hurt, people would finally know what I'm going through"

This caused me to sit back and think about how there are so many others that have their own physical pain they are dealing with that I know nothing about. The endless amount of commercials about drugs to help lesson the pains are evidence enough. I also know there are people out there that seem to think that most of our pain is in our heads. That we could overcome it, or that we are using it as a crutch. I really have no answers for these people who are perfect and have never had to deal with any type of pain in their lives. I am focusing on those I know and hope I can be a source of strength in their time of pain.

"....pain is such an elusive and abused symptom in our society that it is difficult to get people, especially doctors to understand what we are feeling."

I really wish we could all feel 'Nirvana', freedom from pain, but I know that is unlikely. I have weeded through my physical pains and found the ones that cause me the most frustration, hurt and loss. I then focused on that specific physical pain through treatment, (and this can be any treatment you feel comfortable with; medicine, alternative methods) from my doctor to help ease and release me from its grasp. This is why I am now down to 5 or 7 migraines a month.

If you have a physical pain, have you just accepted the pain? Are you able to seek help for the pain? What can get you closest to Nirvana and allow you to have refuge?

Kindling

2010-01-31T11:39:00.000-08:00

Okay, this is going to be a stretch but please bare with me. I have made a lot of campfires, bonfires and fires in the fireplace in my past and present. One thing I have learned about making fires is the importance of kindling. Kindling can start a fire, keep a fire going and re-start a fire that is on it's way out. You don't need a lot of wood, paper or lighter fluid, just a lot of kindling.

I have been thinking about the kindling in my own life. Do I have enough? What is keeping me going? What is giving me the desire and drive to get up each day? In a time of no job, no paycheck and no schedules, am still able to kindle my own life? I am lucky to have family. As rough as our past may be and as frustrating as we can be to one another, I have learned as I get older that family does provide a way to re-kindle my life. My family does not just involve parents, sisters and brother. It involves the love of my life, my partner. I feed off of her in good times and bad. I watch with great respect and awe as she follows the passions of her soul. I allow her to be a process to help me re-kindle.

I re-kindle my life through my joy of working with children, reading, learning and of course caring for my puppy Scout. Sometimes I try to put out my fire, my passions, only to be frustrated. I should not avoid those things that bring me such joy and allow me to express my desires and that constantly re-kindle my spirit. What re-kindles your soul, your passion your drive? Remember to keep enough of it around.

Haiti

2010-01-24T01:00:00.000-08:00

Massive; extremely large in amount, degree, or scope. This word has been used quite a bit to describe the events that have taken place in Haiti. I of course have my thoughts on the situation in Haiti as everyone else does. But if I could encourage one thing, with all of the massive suffering that is happening and that we are hearing about, instead of turning off the news, turn it to the CBS evening new with Katie Couric. The reports from Harry Smith,(video, Night falls on Haiti), Dr. Jennifer Ashton (video, Haiti: Life and Death Decisions) and others have been personal, uplifting and informative. Through their stories I see small wonders being performed that gives me hope and I pray hope to those in Haiti.

I cannot even fathom what it takes to organize, supervise and serve such a massive amount of injury and loss. If you have truly heard or seen what the Haitians have left and what the military, red cross, doctors and other volunteers are working with, through and in we should be proud of what those around the world have been able to accomplish in such a short time. Some have complained that help has not arrived quick enough, water and food are not getting in, doctors are not there to heal the thousands that are suffering. I as an American am amazed at what my country has forsaken to care for strangers in need. With one airport strip, roads blocked by debris and no electricity, how can we judge those giving of themselves on the time it takes to accomplishing so much?

We should also be proud of ourselves as individuals. I have heard stories of those reaching in their own pockets to give. Whether it is $10 or $100, we have all put others above ourselves when I know first hand we are dealing with our financial worries. We also know that in the future there will be more we will need to do to help others and we will be there, hearts and wallets open.

One special story I learned about on the CBS news was about an orphanage in Haiti that was destroyed. 43 children were brought to the United States safely and most of them have already been going through the adoption process and now are with their new families.

Water

2010-01-16T14:44:00.000-08:00

I watched a CBS news story through a special they were doing called; Where America Stands. This story was about water and how it is disappearing. Now usually when I see or hear a story about how bad things are getting I tend to turn it off and think on the positive. What hit me with this story was how well they explained the water shortage and how I left the story feeling like this was one huge problem that I believe I could be of some help.

There has been so much talk about energy and saving electricity, turning things on and off. When those who know tell me I can't live beyond three days without water, I start to look at my water bottle a bit different. I have noticed that there are a lot of restaurants that don't bring water to your table unless your request it. However, this is not the norm. I went to two different restaurants latley and they just brought me water without asking. If I don't drink that water it will just go down the sink. I encourage you to tell the manager the next time you visit to suggest they not serve the water unless requested.

Here are just a few things that we all can do to save water. You can also further this list at a site that shares; Save Water 49 ways.

>Never put water down the drain when there may be another use for it such as watering a plant or garden, or cleaning.

>Don't let water run while shaving or washing your face. Brush your teeth first while waiting for water to get hot, then wash or shave after filling the basin.

>Do not use running water to thaw meat or other frozen foods. Defrost food overnight in the refrigerator or by using the defrost setting on your microwave.

>Use the minimum amount of water needed for a bath by closing the drain first and filling the tub only 1/3 full. Stopper tub before turning water. The initial burst of cold water can be warmed by adding hot water later.

Oh, and remember, having your own bottle of water for health reasons is great, but be sure that bottle is not made of plastic. "Nearly 90% of plastic water bottles are not recycled and head right to the landfill. It takes plastic anywhere from 400 to 1,000 years to decompose. More then 40 million barrels of oil is used to produce the plastic needed for the bottle."

Listen

2010-01-05T08:31:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

Nancy and I both come from very different faith based and religious backgrounds and when we met we were attending an all woman's bible study in Nashville. Our relationship has and always will be based on our faith and our individual, personal relationship we have with our God.

I am not a resolution maker in each new year. I make resolutions each day that I don't accomplish very well so why start my new year off already disappointed. But this year is very new to both of us since this is the first time I believe that we both are beginning this new year unemployed. As you can imagine we are both asking ourselves the tough questions each day and trying to stay above the fear, concerns and doubt that begin to make their way in.

As we were drifting off to sleep New years eve I quietly asked Nancy a simple question. I wanted to know if she was remembering to talk to God. A few minutes later a voice in the dark asked if I was remembering to listen to God. It was that simple.

I want to listen more. Each night I lay down and struggle with the anxiety of getting up the next morning to start all over and that is when I remember to listen. This has become my resolution, to listen. I don't know who or what you believe in but I encourage everyone to become quiet and listen.

I am human

2009-12-28T14:42:00.000-08:00

Every time I turned on the news over these past few weeks, I found gray haired men still fighting about what they want me to do with my body and how I cannot seek medical help for certain procedures. I am not pro-choice or pro-abortion, I am pro-human. It is not human to have total strangers make medical decisions for my body and my life. This decision is personal, this decision keeps me human.

Are there any other medical procedures these Senators would like to be involved in? Would they like to deny a woman chemo therapy when she is diagnosed with breast cancer? What about the removal of a breast? All of this because of my sex. These are life and death situations that only I as a human being should be able to make for myself.

I also can't believe it's almost 2010 and woman are still being told what we can and cannot do. I deeply appreciate all those who took the time to fight for the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act law to pass. But I also apologize that even now you still had to fight for me to be valued as an equal human being.

“It is fitting that with the very first bill I sign — the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act — we are upholding one of this nation’s first principles: that we are all created equal and each deserve a chance to pursue our own version of happiness,” the president said.

The Mail Man

2009-12-19T09:36:00.000-08:00

I still get so excited when I see the mail man. I don't know if it is because my father was a mail man when I was growing up and that may be part of it but I still have a bit of old school in me. I really love to receive a card or letter through the mail. I love the process of opening it up and holding onto it. This doesn't happen very much any more and for some reason I was hoping this holiday there would still be floods of cards ending up in my mailbox. So I anxiously head out each day to the box and take a peek. I really try to encourage Nancy to help make holiday cards so we can mail them to our friends. I don't know if our friends still like receiving mail in their mail boxes still, but I really love the time we spend together thinking about our friends and what might make them smile.

So many people send notes on face book and through email. I know there is nothing wrong with this it is just taking me some time to get past the idea that people expect things that way now. I just really believe that there are times we should go that extra step whether it is hand writing a note, shopping for a card or making our own card to send to someone. I know there are a lot of people out there that don't give it a second thought because they have grown up with the Internet or that is just how they best communicate now.

When my father was a mailman he used to take me on his mail route when I was younger back in Michigan. The winter was the best time for me. In case you did not grow up around a lot of snow, when the snow plows would scraped the snow off the roads they would push the snow to the sides and most of the time it blocked the mail boxes and made big piles of snow up around them. My dad would take me with him so I could get out and climb up the piles to put the mail in the boxes. (Please keep this quiet because I don't think he was supposed to have me on his route). This was my time to play in the snow! I remember so many people coming out of their houses to give my dad something home made like cookies or candy. Yes, this was before they warned you not to accept home made food from strangers. But you see, they weren't strangers to him. Everyday he brought them, through the mail, a smile, a word from a friend or a gift. Okay, he also brought them bills but we will never get away from that.

I guess that is why I still get excited to see the mail man. My parents aren't on the Internet so occasionally I receive a card or letter from them that can make me smile, cry or get frustrated. I guess I am encouraging everyone to stop this holiday and instead of sending thank you notes through the Internet, take some time and hand write a note to those you love. Who knows, they may still get excited to see the mail man (person) too.

Read further how the post office is helping children through the mail.

I feel safe

2009-12-13T10:00:00.000-08:00

Is it wrong that I feel safe? I am in a household where the both of us are out of work and we know how stressful that can be on each of us as individuals and also as a couple. We have always cared deeply for one another and especially now we are conscience of what the other may be feeling. We check in, talk it out and give space if needed. We get through each week paying the bills, putting food on our table and feeling safer.

With all of this I decided since I was not working that I could start volunteering more, get out of the house. After about two weeks of staring at the computer and filling out applications each morning, I found my way to Second Harvest and Hands On Nashville. Don't get me wrong, I have not filled my every hour with volunteering, I just chose a few things to get me started. They always say you should get a set schedule going when you want to start exercising, so I am trying to get a schedule going on volunteering. I have sorted some food and passed out toys to kids and I feel so much better when I'm finished (again, a lot like exercising). I hope that those who are receiving the food or gifts are in some way feeling their sense of safe.

I am not able to identify at all with families, children and individuals who are so poor they don't know where there next meal will come from, or those who end up on the streets. I only hope that in every experience in my life I will stay grounded and never be able to loose site of those who are less fortunate. I may not be able to do much, but every little bit I am told helps and I hope I can continue to serve others in all walks of life.

I encourage everyone that has kids to get them involved in sorting food for other families and kids. I can't believe how much impact it has made on me as an adult, I can't imagine how greatly it could effect a child.

Tipping

2009-12-07T13:44:00.000-08:00

Okay waiters and waitresses I need you to stop for one second and let me explain myself and my angst with tipping before you start writing hate mail. I do not like the industry of tipping. I am not upset with the wait staff but with the employers that feed into this process. PAY YOUR EMPLOYEES WHAT THEY ARE WORTH! That is my stand. It is time that restaurant owners understand they would not have a business without their servers.

Why is it that only the food service industry has tipping? There are many people out there serving others and are not receiving good pay and still perform their job without tips and still make some type of living without a high salary. In my last job I taught Pre-K (5 year olds) 14 of them each day. And if you know anything about the world of education the pay is terrible. Especially for preschools. I was in the service industry and yet my employer was responsible to pay me. I returned the children safely at the end of the day without a single tip.

Does it not bother you as a wait person who is doing their job above and beyond the wait person next to you and know that they will receive the same amount of tip because the consumer is suppose to tip 15 or 20%? I am tired of rewarding someone who lacks simple job skills, is disrespectful and not doing their job simply because I am pressured by society to leave a tip.

I work very hard for my money. I spend good money on great food. I believe I spend enough when I pay $15.00 to $20.00 for a meal. If the tip was added into the cost of the food I would be willing to pay more. Why do I have to be responsible to pay the servers (with a tip) when that is the employers job?

When I was younger my partner and I were working for ourselves. One evening we collected all of our coins to buy some Chinese food. The menu said that delivery was free. We ordered our food, paid for it when it arrived and started eating. We received a phone call from the restaurant asking if we were enjoying our food. We responded that we did and he then said, "You must tip delivery boy, that's how he make a living." We never ordered from that restaurant again. I held my cool on how he was responsible for helping the delivery boy make a living, not me.

I appreciate the food service industry. I know they work hard for their employers and make no money. But I think it is time we hold the restaurant owners up to the same level we hold any employer. PAY YOUR EMPLOYEES WHAT THEY ARE WORTH!

Read the following story of people being arrested in Philidelphia for not tipping. Have we come to this?

Looking for a job

2009-12-01T09:45:00.000-08:00

I'm looking for a job! I am in my late 40's and I am on the cusp of who and what I want to be when I grow up. I have learned a lot about human nature lately and I have to say most of it is ugly. Like thousands of unemployed workers I find myself in front of a computer each and every morning. No human contact and only pure frustration because so many companies out there want to know the exact date I started my job fifteen years ago - or it won't let me to the next screen!

I need human contact! I have sent out over 55 resumes on line in two weeks. Maybe six or seven of them have responded by email telling me they received my resume. Many of these jobs don't even list their business name. Are they embarrassed by their company ? I've had several email and tell me they received my resume and if I am really interested in the position can I fill out these next few pages? I've go nothin' but time. Would I have sent a resume to begin with if I was not interested?

I need to empathize! There are thousands of others on line looking for jobs. I know that it would be impossible for any HR department to call or let people just come in for an interview. But they have to realize that at this point our self-esteem is at its all time lowest. This is the time in our lives we need some type of contact, some type of humanity. I believe many businesses have lost out on a great employee by allowing words on a page to speak to them instead of words from my heart.